Kudos to the author. Well you should about that before gething married then, would you rather him go to someone else. Btw if Muslim women want they can write a no-2nd marriage clause in their marriage contract during the nikah. Concealing righteous deeds, and rejoicing in people's praise for them Things To Keep Private . .YouTube Channel : tayiboufit FOR MORE ISLAMIC Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. My guess is that they moved on to another town. Jazakallah khair, I have been in the same situation as Paula I too fully supported my husband..he controlled passwords to my phone ipad etc. He again threatens you with divorce if you go forward ? Why have muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in their married life by polygamy? Ever wish you could read your husbands mind? Sighhhh. All he used to do was he was busy in his own world. Second wife! I pray to Allah Taaalaa that he gives us all the understanding of how a true Muslim should behave and that he forgives us all for all the wrong we have done in life, allowing us to die with strong Imaan and in the end enter us into Jannatul Firdaus. 3) Its one of the things that will actually also keep the man satisfied. And men have all and every right to get married 4 times if he can afford it remember ladies , no he doesnt need permission from you but its better you discuss about it . May God help you in your situation ameen. in Quran it was said to marry more than one. I also find it kind of wrong how the writer kind of placed the responsibility of being faithful on the wife. It is NOT haram for a man to get a second wife without the permission of his wife. When polygamy is brought up we have this notion or fantasy that the man will be living the life and fulfill his desire and the women will suffer. (ITS LIKE HIS SAYING ITS OKAY TO BE A LAZY MUSLIM-WHEN ITS NOT)Brothers should do the utmost best to emulate the life of the prophet and their should be no excuses brothers are too busy lecturing sisters on how to be a good wife when their forgetting about their own individual selves. @Paula- So sorry that you have to deal with all this:(. So brothers and sisters before talking about the chances of your husband or yourself getting married again we need to fix and improve our current marriages. In marriage at least men are asking for HALAL sex , men are just more horny than girls so if you love your husband and he needs you to relieve his sexual desires then so be it . No much hope for Islam if goes that way EU warns: "This . It doesnt mean hes thinking about taking a second wife. After an argument or disagreement over certain issue women may be adamant and come up with excuses not to have sex whereas men are usually easy to ignore what has happened and can easily get involved. Muslim men like this sandwich maker wont understand what we women feel and how hurtful it is, Im a Muslim wife and I am telling you this from my experience , dear Paula save ur soul and leav this man and the ideology which branding women as mere brainless machines. Often, Muslim families will have a number of articles related to their faith in their homes. As per my perception this article is for people who understands it or try to, leaving arrogance behind far away. Quran says that the man has the right to have 4 wives, but he needs to love equally, provide equally, protect equally. As salaam alaikum, Yea, and youd think thered be a bit more discussion in that direction around here! I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesnt deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if Im clearly not even worth a days work?? Just because majority of muslim men do doesnt mean all do. Please brother & sisters do not start passing judgement in haste. grow up and stop playing the victim. The author of the article should revise that fact about multiple marriages and how it say it should be undertaken only due to dire needs (not because He wants to for fun). take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sister. 1. None of us see what you have to deal with or how much effort youve put into your relationship, but Allah sees it all and hell reward you accordingly inshaAllah. Ive read this article & I feel this article is like imposing things on women. BarakAllahu feekum. May Allah bless you both. and another thing the most important thing: my husband Mustapha never hides anything from me of corse not and I never hide anything from him! Any how he got chance for quarring with me. ITS THE HOLY QURAN SO ITS ALLAH WORDS THAT WE R TO OBEY CLEARLY ALLAH KNOWNS ALL THINGS TO B TRUE . Things To Keep Private In Islam #muslimlifestyle #muslimlife - YouTube Biologically, it is not possible for an average man or a woman to remain celibate throughout life. i really like this article. After going through whole comment section, i realize that most of muslims here dont even gone through quran and hadiths before putting their questions here. There is no other option. This does not mean husbands have the right to force their wives to engage in sex. Many a sister lives her life with a man she never loved but he never knew it. Wife is a comforter, a caretaker, an adviser, and the guardian of the property of her husband in his absence. Dont do it, if a man is already thinking of another woman even before marrying you, he obviously cant be all that in love with you, sorry :(. and dont let someone walk over you. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account The truth is that men and women are different, so the sooner you can move on from that the better. I know, this one may be kinda hard to swallow. I was thinking the same thing. He tries to do something (like start a business or go back to school) but fails at it. If both the partners worried more about providing the rights of the other rather than waiting to give rights only if they saw nothing missing in the rights they were getting, Im sure life will be a lot simpler. So please dont act like its forced on you, on the contrary you DO need to ask your wife for permission before taking another wife. Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband. I want to marry and be in halal relationship but looks like men only looking for friendship with benefits. Assalam-u-alaikum I hope your Fine.This is Islamic Channel.Channel Ko subscribe kary.Or Is Video Ko like Karo Share KaryMy YouTube channel will feature Islamic content and Islamic videos that will educate people about Islamic beliefs, practices and traditions. Therefore, the prayer place should be clean. #shortvideo #shorts #short #ytshorts #youtubeshorts #islam #viral #allah #allahkibaten #allahkibatein #bayan #things #keep #private Things to keep private in. Is it allowed for a muslim to keep secrets? 4. I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. I met a Muslim man three years ago. No woman wil b happy readin it n am openly sayin out my opinion coz there aint no hadith or ayat backin d point dat ur husband thinks abt other women. What are the best-kept secrets about Islam? - Quora You do realize Muslim men can take multiple wives, and live in multiple countries that allow polygamy?. InshaAllah Allah will reward you for all your patience and effort. Men cannot even manage one woman fairly, how would he be able to multi task with two women who have two separate needs and expectations. If the real purpose was of sexual desires then they would go for it in their prime youth. Things to keep private in Islam #shorts #islam #trendingFollow [@success_Soar ] for the bestInspirational success related content on theinternet..#trending. iv) To give protection to a widow or any other woman who requires it. Women feel the same way, have a bit of respect. Why should a nice type Muslim sister be patient when her husband is verbally or even physically abusive, emotionally distant, selfish, childish an narcisstic? Your question title includes more information than the content of your post. I will never accept a second wife! What a dumb thing to mention. Very good knowledge!! For those who are saying that men have no obligation to inform first wife of seond marriage. So really, #4 about him thinking of other women is not bad, that is his right. Thank you for making it clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0. go back to the initial thesis statement ( make sure you know what the issue really was, read the answer again and if you still dont know, sit with your husband and make sure you both understand what the question and answer were talking about. Jazakallakh khier for this article and previous articles. If you want more advice on marriage watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6B4xk3kcI by Yasir Qadhi. Zina or adultery cannot be alleged by a woman. Answer (1 of 6): The Prophet Muhammad (s) addressed over 100,000 of his Companions on the 18th of Dhu'l hijja in the year 10 AH. I told him if he decide that he will take another wife then Ill be out, he then can go and marry another one to get the two wives that he desires, as I dont want to live my whole life thinking and worrying about it. May Allaah make it easy for us to practice.InshaAllaah, when I get marriied! Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.Chapter 103, Verse 3 Fahmida Azim for NPR When 18-year-old. He wants me to marry him and be his 2nd wife. How can they think they can treat both the wives equally, its easy said than done, its not possible to love the wives the same. men are said to lower the gaze in Quran Sharif. Yes I used to have fights with my husband on pity things because he was not giving me the love I wanted I wanted his care I wanted him to see I stay home all alone I go frustrated n crazy. (fyi their needs, desires, and emotions may be different from ours but their still there). By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. Thanks for advice. Wow i guess its informative as well as helpfull ..JazakAllah. Related by Ahmad and Muslim. I thought of leaving him and live alone with my son. May Allah bless your marraige and everybody elses. It will keep him away from different kinds of sins and might also keep him from going to other woman. Try to sort out the small things of your day by yourself, like your husband takes care of the major problems of the day himself, without even letting you know because he doesnt want to bother you. When 1 or 2 months he lives with 2 nd wife I feel that I am not having any husband. Youre better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets: Does this mean hell never take a second wife if you do these three things? If a man is ignorant, unaware or does not care about his wifes emotional and physical needs, then he has set the clock for her to NOT want to be with him. If yes then isn't keeping secret a kind of cheating? Salaam Of course sister if a woman wanted to have sex with her husband & intensionally he refuse it. Sister when you said i will never accept this part of islam you could have come out the fold of islam!! . Also, the second wife is family too. She cries every time they have intercourse and are intimate. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. I hardly ever hear any good. I am being patient for 10 years but it is hard believe me.It takes its toll, when he gets nicely dressed and goes out without saying he is going out that night, or just even saying where he is going,when he is comingnone of itjust gets up,gets dressed and gives salaamHow can I be loving, caring and make myself beautiful for someone like that?May Allah guide me and everyone in hardship inshaAllah. The Muslim Gram on Instagram: "Things to keep private in Islam He is weak in Taqwa. Log in, //8 Things You Should Always Keep Private In Life @Kay: can u provide some Daleel (proof) for your statements.I would love to examine them. So permission from his first wife would be SHIRK.Proof Please. India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. Let me explain this. Salam Aleykum, I find this to be one of the most unsettling parts of Islam. :(. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males. Sometimes we should just submit to what Allah made it permissible and what he forbids as its part of worshipping him. Characters with only one possible next character, A sci-fi prison break movie where multiple people die while trying to break out. Sex hormones are released in the adult body every day. wife). I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. Lets be real here these conditions for polygamy to happen that everyone keeps mentioning Wheres the proof? Sincerely, this was an eye opener. I dont know if I should go away, dissappear. Thank you thank you DR ABULU for the good work you just did in my life , my name is ALVINA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,t listen to me anymore i thought i will never get him back again and i loved him so much and i promise not to rest until am able to get him back to my life so i began to look for a solution and help to get him back this was because i do not want to give birth to a fatherless child so one afternoon as i was browsing on my computer i came across a testimony shared by miss Rachael from UK how she got his ex husband back with the help of Dr abulu of (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) so i decided to give him a try and to my best surprise the spell this man cast on my husband work just within two days i contacted him . If a man refuses to consider his wifes sexual pleasure, along with being a jerk, he will have to answer to Allah for his neglect The consistent and constant advices to women to be patient when husbands are complete failures is ridiculous and getting really tired in 2016. But its true (usually). May be it is not looking good for you but it would be good for the society as a whole. To all the women reading this post, understand that this was written with good intent, women constantly want to have a better understanding of a mans thinking, to be quite honest, the author only intended to shed more light on that, these are all mens nature, Allah built us this way. Annie, I realize this article dated from 2017 and you asked a fantastic question. I am an educated older woman. This is a praiseworthy aim, because Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): and as for the blessing of your Lord, proclaim it. I have been divorced two times. Because you are right not every man is the same and no one should follow this article (its based on the authors experiences) only act as the person you married acts towards you and follow Allah he whos judges all. I am not Muslim, however I respect/support his beliefs and the teachings/love of Allah. Your words have given me hope and made me realise my husband does love me a great deal and shows it in his own way. Please reference your sources, maybe you need to be careful what you say cause you will be accountable for your intentions and whats in your heart. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husbands] absence what Allah would have them guard. 137984. As Mohammed Mynul Islam said, and he (the husband) spends the night angry.. Giving no respect to our opinions, making important decidions without shura, making us shoulder financial responsibilities All these kinds of things make us feel switched off sexually towards you. But how different the circumstances. this second wife issue is not for fun as many men want to believe. Take Advantage of Your Youth, Health, Wealth, Time and Life. i dream of being able to respect my husband but i must admit over the years i feel that respect i had for him is declining Ive stayed loyal despite our circumstances. Good advice, but zowji doesnt like sandwhiches! there are many ways a man can help and support other womans without having to marry them and having any relationships. Thank you SO much. 13 Common Rules of Shaving in Islam - AZislam.com This is not an issue for me personally, but I really find this to be incredibly sexist (no pun intended) and its as if the womans feelings are totally unimportant when her husband is horny. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Quran: Marry woman of your choice in twos threes or fours but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one [Al-Quran 4:3], Before the Quran was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. We need to understand the depth of the issue. And if a sister gives him her all, it is duty of a man to be honest always. During the times of the Prophet (PBUH) this was allowed because of the wars and the widows left without anyone to care for them. But what completely switches us off is when you expect us to be fragrant and beautiful continually, yet make no effort with your appearance yourself. I have two kids with him and I dont want my kids got hurt. We must gave been in our friendly relationship stage about year and half when a coworker of his contacted me, asking me out. Women want physical intimacy too. Just be sincere and the next time you think about one of the great things he does that makes you love him . Here's an overview of where things stand and the day's major developments. When you intend to offer the prayer, wash your faces and your hands (forearms) up to the elbows, wipe your heads, and (wash) your feet up to the ankles. Alhamduliallh. They should also be told to be content with one wife and pray more and ask Allah for peace of mind and heart. Reality, not being idealistic. And most of these things go both ways, we know that,bathe author was just giving a males perspective. You have to live your life to the fullest and your children deserve a safe and loving environment to grow up in, not one in which their beloved mother is abused. You can discuss topics like Quran, Hadith, Islamic history, and current events related to Islam.I Will translate in Urdu MZ Islamic Studio:Facebook Link https://www.facebook.com/zeyan456?mibextid=ZbWKwLMZ Islamic Studio:Facebook page Link https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091927582567\u0026mibextid=ZbWKwLMZ Islamic Studio:TikTok Link https://www.tiktok.com/@mzislamicstudio?_t=8d1i4MPfGc6\u0026_r=1MZ Islamic Studio:Instagram Link https://instagram.com/islam_zindabad_456?igshid=ZGUzMzM3NWJiOQ==#listencarefully#islamicvideo#islamicstatus#islam#islamzindabad#pakistan#pakistanzindabad#viral#viralvideo#youtube#youtubevideo#ytshorts#youtubeshorts#share Islam | Religion, Beliefs, Practices, & Facts | Britannica May Allah bless us with good husbands. Things to keep private in Islam |subscribe share # - YouTube ii) If he doesnt have children from his first wife(I have a friend, who is born to the second wife of his father. I remembered so many years ago when the life of another woman depended on my decision and what my decision was. does that mean she would be cursed all night. Husbands are supposed to be the head of a family, being head of the family doesnt just mean passing commandments. Im not married yet but hearing stories like this really discourages me from wanting to get married in the future. the same punishment will happen to him. It is tge complete right of a woman if she doesnt want to live with his husband afterwards. Whatever you decide to do (leave him or try again), may Allah guide you towards the right path and give you happiness. ALLAH says us many things to do and each an everything for our betterment. THINGS TO KEEP IN PRIVATE IN ISLAM #shorts #islam #ytshorts About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . 14K Likes, 15 Comments - Islamic Aikaz (@islamic_talks141) on Instagram: "Things to keep PRIVATE in Islam Share & save it for later.. . And as for he thinks of other women when you treat us like this, it is then we wish we had another husband who is a gorgeous hero.. Muslim (2642) narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: It was said to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): What do you think of a man who does a good deed and the people praise him for it? If you are in a state of Janaba (i.e. One can imagine what would have been the percentage of polygamous marriages among the Hindus if the Indian government had made it legal for them. Poll shows employee job concerns. Most Muslims have never heard of this speech. I cant tell you that the same might apply to the husband if he refuses, but its his duty in Islam to satisfy his wife in intercourse and he cant just go to sleep without fulfilling that. What should I do. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. Usually in such cases a person ends up doing what he thought that he would never do of major sins that doom a person to Hell and ruin all his affairs, both religious and worldly, and ruin his life and take away all blessings (barakah) from his wealth and children, as a result of his moving far away from his Lord and transgressing His sacred limits and not caring about the fact that Allaah is watching him in all his affairs.