ungrateful husband islam

I am so confused and worried about my husband, I pray that he and I don't make any mistake that will be against ALLAH's desire, Is my husband being ungrateful to ALLAH, and taking matters in his own hands? Real Life Lesson from The Holy Quran For the 21st Century Muslim, Dua for Father, 8 Dua we can do for our Father, Prayer Dresses for Muslim Women; Islamic prayer clothes, 30 Duas from Hadith in 30 days of Ramadan pdf, 40 hadith on The Sublime qualities of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), 7 major sins in Islam: . Is It Sinful for the Wife To Hate Obeying Her Husband? Today's Beautiful Hadith is about Ungratefulness when i was reading your post, i just remembered myself 2 years ago. Yet, all the while, of course I was to blame for pushing the issue, and I did feel responsible. Shaitan is most pleased when spouse fight. May Allah bless us all. My Husband didn't agree, but some how two months before HAJJ 2011, ALLAH put in his heart for HAJJ, and we bought ticket and started packing. My husband is desperate to have a child of his own. Reason you are miscarrying but obviously you can conceive.. if it isn't a chromosal problem or that you have cysts which can be removed..they can plug your cervix this is done a lot in saudi..there are alot of resouces. The answer: Your husband has to change his job, if it is possible, or bring you a servant. and i was thinking i was three months pregnant. but I have left it all on ALLAH because I know ALLAH will not let me down. If he wants to take another wife and he thinks he can afford her, then let him do so. And I suggest you leave me first divorce me then get married, who knows if ALLAH blesses me with the other man's kids. Step out of the "If I do X for you, then you owe me Y," where Y is a certain dose of gratitude. Still ur advice about this world was a good reminder to us all. Truly, you need to sort this out before any nikkah takes place. Hadith on Shukr: Sin of ingratitude to husbands who provide so i said ok fine thank you for giving me time, and i will focus on myself more then what you want me to think for. I want to avoid adultery. i didnt read ur advice when i came here to post mine. My husband said no to me then. If a woman disobeys her husband she entails the curse of Allah, the angels and all people. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said "No woman should ask her husband to divorce his second wife in order to achieve her rights because she will only receive what has been preordained for her." Then by his first wife help he got married to my mother in law and by the grace of Allah he became father of 5children my husband is the eldest. Be real with yourself, and be real with your husband. I don't want to contribute any wealth of mine in the house, because he has considered re marring. My best advice is to stop doing what puts him in the camp of owing you. I cried alot and tld him how ungrateful he was. Put yourself in his shoes and focus on the good picture. Am I Ungrateful for Rejecting a Proposal? I want to tell him how i feel abot this and what i want, but he refuses to talk. but two days before, my flight I found out that I was naturally pregnant! I was a school principal, so I continued my job. This situation is depressing me and making me psychologically ill. Please remember me in prayers. He says he loves me and wants my own kids then why does he stress me and say he wants to remarry this is happing since two years but he is mire focused now on marriage. because he doesn't talking to me about it thinking that i will get a lot of pain, but he doesn't understand it hurts me more not talking about it. Answer Praise be to Allah. Seeking khul from an abusive, ungrateful husband - Islamweb - Fatwas Seeking khul' from an abusive, ungrateful husband Fatwa No: 297739 Fatwa Date: 17-11-2015 - Safar 5, 1437 Email Print Rating: Question Assalaamu alaykum. so that is why i keep on saying marry and do as you wish. He is religious himself, he studied Islam and memorised Quran in an Islamic institution. He still says and confuses me that he wants my kids,and gives me a timeline to give him a pregnancy before that period is over he is confused himself and wants me to be a part of it. Anna, may Allah give you what your heart desires. Prophet Dawood (David) (alaihim al-Salm) was also not able to become a father. It also depends on the individual, the environment, times and the understanding that both spouses have. I am raising money for my asylee friends family! If nothing happens then we will talk right now i am praying to be blessed from you. So that's why I'm saying, if you can just start being honest with yourself, and him, about what you're really feeling (which is conflicted and insecure) then you can avoid a truckload of pain that will be headed your way if he takes another wife. All I can tell you is that I just got out of a polygamous marriage that I didn't get a choice about being in. I am trying to fulfill his wish, that i dont want to see happening. Last month we went to germany to see my in laws and same happened there, he asked him mom to help find him someone. Is this how little faith you have in ALLAH? My husband replied and said NO i don't want to get married I want kids from you. As I said I can't say no to hubby to remarry but if i do then I am not being one of the righteous women. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. May Allah Make it easy for you, whether with a co-wife of without. Before driving kids to school and himself to work, he asked . Talking to my reflection. I can just feel for the first one, because alot of post i read here are mostly about first wives getting co-wives no second wife has mentioned any of her sorrows. ALLAH knows what I want the most. It's not even your responsibility to find him a wife; if that's something he wants he need to be the one to find her. I also know a two co-wives who live in the same house they are fine. It was tremendously difficult. He says that he will only give me a khul' if I pay him a huge amount like twenty thousand dollars. . Yes dear sis your right i dont want to set any kinds of deadline. Is she disobedient because she fails to obey her husband, or is it a minor sin due to pride? may Allah elevate her position in akhirah. I feel as if I have a new life. and my husband got so upset that he start to say two days after my miscarriage, that he wants to marry someone who can give him kids. focus on ur health by taking right suppliments and joining a gym. You said you would have to share your house and car with the second wife. I tend to think you might find yourself in a worse position if you don't think this all through thorougly, and make the right decision for your family, and we don't want to see that happen. The question isn't why does he want to marry now and not before but will you be able to deal with this? Last year dec. 2012, I got pregnant again, but had a miscarriage again. Since you guys have helped me a lot, and guided me through my toughest time, I will never forget you and will never forget the love and wishes you all have shared with me. I am happy that your marriage turned out to be perfect.I hope that your husband and family treats you with all respect and love always. (A: A husband may permit his wife to leave the house for a lesson in Sacred Law, for invocation of Allah (dhikr), to see her female friends, or to go to any place in the town. I pray that Allah eases your pain and helps you move forward in your life, inshaAllah, Ameen. But unfortunately his first wife had 14 miscarriage then she pressured him to get married again because my father in law build a dream to become father. I am in need of lots of prayers. now you know why iam confused lol, he just can't say one thing to me, he is the one who is confused and want me to be a part of it. Show affection for your mate. If they've been ungrateful for a while, they'll likely have rationalized their behavior. I agree with much of what you say. Don't normalize ungrateful behavior. But from what I saw after married and heard from others that my husband and his siblings loved their father first wife more then their own mother so everyone called her mother as well. And believe me, he's not going to want to spend the time he's with you dealing with emotions. only someone who has been through this can help someone else. u guys need to sit down and talk about stuff more clearly without the interference of another person. But i dont know why husband has lost hope. It may look like i am forcing my husband to remarry, but i am in a situatiln that there is nothing left for me to do. Polygamy is permissible, but sister, if he will not treat the other woman equally as you, then it is Dhulm (oppression) which is not ideal in a polygamy as per Islam. Need dua please for successful in vitro fertilisation. I am telling you this in order to be prepared and not see all this as a surprise - I am sure you must have thought about it, but be prepared. A guide for ungrateful women - Muslim Marriage Guide I am trying my best to conceive and I live in canada here treatment is great and I am taking clomid and metformine and that is about it. Thank you for your wishes. May Allah bless u with a happy monogamous marriage with ur home filled with lots of love and babies' laughter. If someone constantly criticise, it becomes a mode of operation. Anger is one of the worst things considered in Islam. You know i feel strange envy right now. You curse so frequently and you are ungrateful to your husbands. For example: A-oo-dhoo bi-ka-li-maa till-laa-hit taaam-ma-ti min gha-da-bi-hee wa i-qaa-bi-hee wa shari ibaa-dih. I don't want you to incline in front of either one of us, u will ahve to be equal in all means, in love shopping, divide of days and nights, etc. Sister Amy, your story is so sad:( you are a strong woman and may Allah give you eternal happiness and health in this life and grant you and your family jannah. May ALLAh bless you. The short answer to your question is, no, you are not considered ungrateful for refusing a proposal. Islam teaches love; to make bonds, to form relationships, to be positive, to not degrade someone, to not insult someone, to avoid each and every word that hurts the people and their self-esteem. Why settle for 1 when you can have 4! Her behavior could be due to her not knowing about the mandate to obey her husband. b happy alwys. As a true believe I told him, I have given you permission to marry when the doctors told me that i can't get pregnant 5 years ago, and you never married then, and now when I can conceive and ALLAH has gave you hope from my side, that inshALLAH we will become parents, you want to still marry? sister Amy was so right when she said that u need to stop telling him to remarry and b honest. You both need to stop that dysfunction and start communicating with each other with sincerity. I want to share experiences. and learn to accept it with time. On one hand we say that women are emotional and on the other hand we expect women to NOT be emotional. So ALLAH will be pleased by us. if i had kids he would never have thought about it. I fear that he will be inclined over her more, I don't want him to do anything that ALLAH will punish him for, as ALLAH does punish the one who is inclined to one wife more then the other, because he is not treating them equally. I told him please think it over, just for kids you get married, but what if you make a lot of mistakes and you will be punished for them, I told him to think it over. I don't know what to do, should i call her or should i not call her. Supplication humbles us and can help us control our anger. Thank you so much for sharing the prayers and information with me about the prophets, I really appriciate that. https://byislam.com/en/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/879233.jpg, https://www.byislam.com/en/egaxugli/2020/02/003-300x138-1.png. Go out for a girls time out with old buddies. Question: My husband travels too much, and the responsibility of the house and children has fallen on me. He fears his father will die without seeing his child as his father was diagnosed with cancer last week. and was suggestion to get an egg donor, which my imam told me was forbidden in Islam. Also please keep me in prayers, and keep on suggestion me more things that I should know of. 15 March, 2023 In this counseling answer: You have no obligation to discuss or prove to your sister that you are helping the family. If a woman makes her husband frown, Allah's . She said she will force me to the gym, and you will come. Greeting your husband with a salaam, a smile and a hug is sure to set a peaceful atmosphere right away. and she gave her first baby to her co wife. She hates her husband and fears that she may fall into zina if she A Muslim Wife is attentive to her husband's needs. Br. And do not force him to marry. This was after being infertile for 3 years and having a miscarriage in my last pregnancy. I feel really incomplete. It's really sad for a women who had miscarriage. Thank you so much for taking the time and helping me. Please refer to fatwa 85012. i would say y dont u just find a way to condition ur thought process. So I would tell you if you are having this much difficulty now, and having a hard time managing it, be real with your spouse. As far as the car, if it is your husband's car, then yes she will ride in it. O Prophet of Allah, from being ungrateful to Allah." The Prophet said, "Rather, one of you will be widowed for a long time throughout her middle years, then Allah provides her with a husband and he benefits her with a child, the joy of her life. I did ask my doctor the first and second time why this happened, she said we are not going to go into it, it is too early to determine, and if you get your third miscarriage we will find out the reason then there is nothing to worry about, then she told me that she had 4 miscarriages and now has 1 boy, mashallah. He tortures me and my children, saying that he is depressed. Firstly: Zina is a grave sin, especially on the part of one whom Allaah has blessed with marriage and who has responded to the blessing with ingratitude, betrayed her husband, transgressed against his honour and contaminated his bed. Since you have ample of faith in Allah, the following verses of the Quran might show you the light. But one thing I don't understand, and maybe it is my shortcoming, is when men, generally speaking, say "don't be grieved if your husband wants another wife." Hadith on Kufran: Beware ingratitude to husbands, wives, spouses Istikhara dua in Arabic with supporting hadith. You may teach your children the household affairs to help you or you may make friends with the neighbors according to the familiar, social way among good people. I was a first wife. Lastly, we would like to stress the need for you to adhere to patience to the best of your ability and to seek reconciliation as much as you can. I dont want to force him to marry, but i can't stand him telling me everyday and month that he wants to marry. If all these solutions fail, you should continue in your present state and look forward to the reward of Allah that the future may be better than the past. Lots of Love and Best wishes: This article is a reminder to myself and to all the woman who want an easy success in the hereafter through the pleasure of the husband. His wife reviles him and insults him. What should he do? - Islam I am also happy that you other is out of an abusive relationship. Salam, All of my life I have obeyed my parents. You can't stop him from marrying if that's what he wants to do. Suicide is not the way, sister. I have full faith in my ALLAH. A woman is believed to be the beauty, charm and attraction of the world. 2. if you get married when i am 40 i will feel more upset, because you left me at a time when i would need my life partner the most. And the constant competition for the husbands affections. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? All rights reserved. Day by day my attachment, faith, and love towards ALLAH grows like fire. Want to marry a revert but family wont accept.. I have been spreading lies about my father, saying he abused me.how do I repent? If this husband does not change his severe behavior towards his wife, relatives have to advise him wisely, because supporting the cause of a wronged one brings good in this life and the afterlife. Her life is just as stressful and she is aging rapidly. Some Images may have been sourced from google and social media.If you have any issues and want it to be removed you can contact us. shaitaan's trick is to make us not believe in Allah's Mercy or to not feel content, or to worry about things that we do not have the power over. However, your heart doesn't seem to be in it at all. Netflix 's Sex Education is coming to an end. I didn't tell him anything that days, but two days ago we had one more appointment there i took him with me and we where told from the doctor again about everything. Whenever one of you finishes his travel, let him hasten back to his family.. Again it is only 50 50 that he will marry or not, he wants to marry but only for kids, he said if i can give him a pregnancy in the next two months he will never think to marry. Rabbi Hab L Min Ladunka Dhurryatan ayyibatan 'Innaka Sam`u Ad-Du`'i. Once men get a taste of that, it's hard to get them to settle for less. Then I was told by three doctors to stay at home and not to go for HAJJ, and gave me bed rest. Then till today (2013) I have never given up faith on ALLAH and I know he will bless me with children, even if the doctors . Then till today (2013) I have never given up faith on ALLAH and I know he will bless me with children, even if the doctors declared that I can't become a mom ever. Allah will never put me in a huge test inshallah. may u have a very happy and healthy baby. Stop giving him mixed feedback by saying "yes I want you to do this because it's right" and "no I don't want you to because I still might get pregnant again on my own". I feel from your experience i have learned a lot.