Promise not to go so long before I reply back! And in many cases, its not even enough. I love your article, ill be sharing this with my colleagues. Those who feel small inside would find it difficult to be too big to take offense. Others opinions and treatment of them become disproportionately important because they lack a strong enough internal voice of self-validation. [] Great article on some practical ways to stop being offended here! But some values are better than others (valuing revenge is not as worthy as valuing forgiveness, for instance). Dont hold on to the imperfections of others so tightly that you strangle yourself in the process! PS: I don;t know where you stand in terms of your parents and what baggage you may or may not carry around with you from the experiences you shared here, but I wrote an article for a friends blog called, How to Forgive Your Parents for Doing Such a Crummy Job of Raising You that you may find helpful. But the steps (1-10) I outline at the end of the article (10 WAYS TO STOP TAKING EVERYTHING UP THE BUTT) is a good place to start. At the bottom of the mountain they may both argue about who made it to the summit. 3. Because I know that after you offend somebody there is an unbalance in the interaction and possible in the relationship. N o one typing How can I stay the way I am in Google will ever be led to my site. As for who my suggestions would help, I believe they would help anyone who put them to the test. perhaps the fact that we disagree with what someone else is doing or how they feel does not make them wrong or broken and in need of fixing. To be fierce just got out of a verbally and physical marriage. Cant be too specific in my response because what is being said to you that gets you angry is not clear to me. Pure trash. Thats what I would like to see. Keep up the good work! This way, we can practice our way into embedding the qualities and thought processes I talked about with so much more speed and efficiency. And many people agree, but just think nothing can be changed. It shows what some lifestyles and attitudes and belief systems lead to (Nazism and communism paint an altogether different picture of life than democracy and freedom, for instance). I will wish you coach me to live right! These are all good tips, what i also would suggest is to look on youtube for some stand up comedy shows about the thing you are easily offended about. Communication tips Recap Learn more about defensive behavior, and get advice on how to approach and resolve conflict with a defensive person. If everything is reduced to how it affects you, if you reside at the center of everything, no wonder you are so frequently offended! You are imperfect. But rudeness is rudeness. ), [] the idea and ignore the clumsiness of the expression See more at: http://meanttobehappy.com/10-ways-you-too-can-stop-being-so-easily-offended/#sthash.YGS2z0sm.dpuf Hear the idea and ignore the clumsiness of the expression See more at: []. *% in everyday conversation? I think Im pretty socially inept, but my brother and sister are even more so. It feels like a waste of a life. PS: Too long to proof-read, so forgive if Ive rambled too much! Your reply would will greatly appreciated. I top think I would be happy as a cop. There are happy people and there are miserable people. . This self image is built up by huge collection of past memories. It was to point those people who are tired of bending their relationships to the point of breakage and want to figure out how to change themselves, to grow, to learn how to stop being so EASILY offended. As you experiment with the ideas, keep two things in mind: 1. But what did those backgrounds and histories do? | Created for His Glory, http://meanttobehappy.com/10-ways-you-too-can-stop-being-so-easily-offended/#sthash.YGS2z0sm.dpuf, Weekly momscope: October 13-19 | Momstrology, How to Deal Effectively With Difficult People, How to Avoid the Dream-Killing, Life-Ruining Poison of Indifference, 10 Ways You Can Stop Being So EASILY Offended | whimsical ramblings, http://meanttobehappy.com/10-ways-you-too-can-stop-being-so-easily-offended/#sthash.TIwUkLID.dpuf, 10 Ways You Can Stop Being So EASILY Offended | Master Kays Test Blog, In a dangerous situation right now - Page 13. There are even recovery groups for those addicted to impatience and anger, both being close cousins to hyper-sensitivity. I really thought about what he said and realized that really it was not about me so much as it was about his perception of the subject/activity that he made a rude/insensitive comment about. I was being a bit lazy by conflating the two concepts into one word. Isnt that so amazing? Hey Ken. Some days I handle it better than others. On the meantime, God bless. You speak of asking others to be less offensive. Tom recently posted Transgender Woman Froze Her Sperm. Ive learnt that there is energy associated with what we say and what we do. i guess we are not on the same page about who we are speaking about. Oftentimes, taking offense is a choice. Stand against it. The pain, the circumstances, the history with the family member, its all beyond our ability to see. That is a HUGE burden to carry. Thank you so much for adding it! So the question in my mind and later in my heart was always, whats wrong with me that would make people ignore me?. I like that: There are some who look for ways to be offended. So true! My personal highest motivation for not offending people as an reaction on feeling offended myself. It is really frustrating sometimes when we have a thought and judgement about a situation we were in and not being able to drawn out the right conclusion because of the agenda or our negative thinking patterns. And again, its often times on the internet. How do u stop a 34 year old from getting emotionally upset at someone comment on someones self image.and there friendship.i have passed a comment to the adult but got no response why? I wont care about someone not liking my shoes, because im not insecure about my shoes theyre just shoes. Channel your efforts in constructive ways. How has taking offense easily shaped you? Itd be nice if we were all a little closer and if we all had jobs, so we can alleviate the financial burden my parents carry. Ill just continue to be as in touch with my real feelings as possible, and hopefully diffuse the negative ones. Ive actually never written about it. In fact they had abused him severely. perhaps what is being asked is for people to become more conscious about how they speak to one another, rather than maturing out of their natural feelings. And I am aware it is not the people that are horrible, it is their behaviour. 1. There certainly are people who bury their feelings and act happy who below the surface are alcoholics and molesters and liars and narcissists and the like. The path that they each took may very well have taken them to the only place they could have ended up in. Thanks for the willingness to continue with this. Key points Adult relationships should include the ability to mutually address frustrations, but defensive personalities see threats where there are none. Id love to hear a follow up! 2: She thought her bf would only take it as her stepping out on him, with you. Thankyou. I was very hurt/offended by something someone dear said to me in texts yesterday and had stopped talking to them after their only response was just saying when I said the comment was unkind. Nice meeting you Connie, and welcome to M2bH! They ARE emotional wrecks. I asshamed of who I am. But not everything is those things. I think I already moved on over the fact that my parents were/are so busy. Only those who are looking for themselves for a way to grow. Yet in real life, no one seems bothered by it. Funny thing being offended is a great conversation starter people share their most recent instance of being offended and then compare how insensitive other people are. I sometimes resent him for creating me. What changes in the way I think can I make in regards to any possible future incidents like this? One ended up on a peak that was not the summit. So whether here at Meant to be Happy or elsewhere, keep looking, keep searching, keep reading, keep learning, keep growing. Thanks for this food for thought. and our And a happier one to boot! The unconscious being more difficult to control. Whether I have changed or the country has, I dont know, but it feels like people on a day to day basis just dont respect each other anymore. Modify your personality so that you will be acceptable to everyone. this list could go on for DAYS. Culture, society, everything everywhere tells us how to live. I would love to know what you think of my reply. Try to think in the position of the (one you perceive as the) offender. Then working in the cut throat world of banking, he had never had a chance to develop his kind or tactful side. I was stunned. I would also distinguish between feeling vulnerable and insecure from that of being offended. But if we want them to be genuine they need to know they are free and safe around us. Yet another journey. When we respond negatively to a perceived offence we are adding to the negative energy. They are, after all. Assuming a benevolent motive helps me to let go of anger. I wouldnt be any more offended by a Nazi calling me a racist because he was a Nazi than anyone else I gave no credibility to. It was an omission that Im glad to have addressed here. I had moved out and I didnt give my parents much money back, so theyre carrying the financial burden of 3 adults. Do we have free will? So well see how it goes. I try like crazy to NOT feel this way, but it seems inbred. Contact 2 minutes remaining Offended? Having a right to think or see or believe or feel something is separate from whether thats the best or happiest or even the accurate way to see, think, believe and feel. But thats because no article written by anyone on any subject is going to cure those with deep emotional problems. The words will surely have an impact and sequence of such words would make the student believe that hes an idiot right? Now more than ever it seems far more important to speak out when we hear or see intolerant and offensive language and actions rather than becoming people who accept and therefore promote those beliefs. Just be sure you are continually working on yourself too. There are really two kinds of self-esteem. Thank you so much for adding that insight to the post! Great article! This article has NOTHING to do with getting people to feel their pain to get past that particular emotional challenge. People who are internally fragile no matter how tough their exterior break most easily at the wrong or misplaced word or deed.
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