what is right speech in buddhism

Take an online Buddhism course at your own pace. Modern communication technology has given us a culture that seems saturated with "wrong" speech -- communication that is hateful and deceptive. Subscribe for access to video teachings, monthly films, e-books, and our 30-year archive. He speaks words that are soothing to the ear, that are affectionate, that go to the heart, that are polite, appealing & pleasing to people at large. There is no need to wait for anything or anyone. Without defensiveness, he explains that he is often late for appointments and has a general problem being on time. Still, he respects and cares about her. Would you like to sign up for our other mailing lists? Indeed, samma-vaca is a mindfulness practice that gives instant feedback, because it occurs in the moment, with other people. . This was a reasonable and intelligent request, which I readily honored. Thus reconciling those who have broken apart or cementing those who are united, he loves concord, delights in concord, enjoys concord, speaks things that create concord. If I want to enjoy him more fully, Ill cultivate appreciation for whatever we can share together right now. Tricycle is a nonprofit that depends on reader support. O'Brien, Barbara. [3] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but unendearing & disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. Ive told myself for years to not take it personally, but its been hard to figure out how not to take it personally. Speech when it brings no evil If, on the other hand, we understand that many factors influence behavior, blame becomes a less accurate way to describe experience. Did I just waste an hour chatting about politics on Facebook? If we have no insight into these deeper matters, we are unlikely to address this interlocutor effectively in speech. I dont know how many conversations we have left. Now, in ethical conduct (sila), based on love and compassion, are included three factors of the noble eightfold path: namely, right speech, right action, and right livelihood. What should be said last you said first. These are the ten topics of conversation. In contrast, when we learn to be more disciplined and scrupulous with our words, we find ourselves becoming better people. Thus he doesn't consciously tell a lie for his own sake, for the sake of another, or for the sake of any reward. We may even think of violent words as being justified at times. Another practice Ive incorporated into my work is recognizing positive intentions. We can be arrogant, assuming we are qualified to judge others or that we already know both what the other person will say and what it is worth. Right Speech comes naturally from Right Thought, since our speech is a direct expression of our thoughts. Go and try to salvage your doctrine; extricate yourself if you can!' 1. No matter what we say, it will not be mindful, because we'll be speaking only our own ideas and not in response to the other person.". Did I just waste an hour chatting about politics on Facebook? Habitual beliefs and actions often override intentions for kind communication. This: telling a deliberate lie.". But how do we learn such things? is a practice that will tend to make a person more grounded, generous, humble, attentive, observant, presentand at the same time, more reflective, imaginative, far-sighted, and open to other people and possibilities. Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech.". Right Speech is not just a personal virtue. Because such talk is related to the goal it conduces to disenchantment to Nibbana. The eight limbs of the path are not eight steps to be taken consecutively, but are to be worked on simultaneously. Right Speech means to abstain from lying, tale-carrying, use of harsh language and vain talk. Emilio readily agreed that what I call listening under stress indeed requires additional skills. If you want to stop suffering, the Buddha taught, there is an, : carries connotations of orthodox correctness, it is a misleading translation of the Pali word, , which means perfected, completed, or consummated. My strategies of feeling my breath, naming my thoughts and emotions, or reciting compassion or equanimity phrases help, but not enough. The Eightfold Path ( Pali: ariya ahagika magga; Sanskrit: rygamrga) [1] is an early summary of the path of Buddhist practices leading to liberation from samsara, the painful cycle of rebirth, [2] [3] in the form of nirvana. When we speak, are we responding to the person in front of us or merely reacting or deflecting? A Zen Buddhist named Patricia Phelan has said that "right speech means using communication as a way to further our understanding of ourselves and others and as a way to develop insight." About the time Emilio entered sixth grade, a combination of influences, including what he aptly named raging hormones, converged at once. He replied, I love you Emilio Pen Pal Journal, and then wrote this title on the cover of the book. ", "Monks, do not wage wordy warfare, saying: 'You don't understand this Dhamma and discipline, I understand this Dhamma and discipline'; 'How could you understand it? By this time Emilio was wondering what we were going to do with the index cards. The first is telling falsehoods, by which we deliberately relax our commitment to truth and eventually even become so tied to subtly evolved fictions that we can no longer notice when we might be fooling ourselves. And what is samma-vaca? asks the Buddha in The Discourse on Mindfulness Meditation. Even something as simple as when to speak and when not to speak cant be determined by a formula; it is a skill refined over a lifetime. It means speaking truthfully and honestly; speaking in a way to promote harmony and good will; using language to reduce anger and ease tensions; using language in a way that is useful. All rights reserved.Design by Point Five. The definition "And what is right speech? A pivotal realization came to me a few months after this destructive pattern first appeared. I was determined to search until I found it. The parts of our system mutually affect each othera classic dharmic example of interdependence. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. And while it might serve a limited function when we face threats and enemies, in conversations with loved ones defensiveness precludes effective communication. Although he did it effortlessly, we all knew there was much awareness and reflection behind what he did. I gave Emilio examples of how I use my attention, directed internally, to counter my resistance in conversations with adults. Both lead to increased harmony and peace. We avoid speech that makes us impureconfused, muddy, self-evading, and unable to separate truth from untruth. If we think of it that way, what is the quality of that gift? "Abandoning divisive speech he abstains from divisive speech. In the 1960s as a young counselor I led encounter groups. We also discover how unskillful speech degrades personal relationships and diminishes the possibility of peace in our world. We can be arrogant, assuming we are qualified to judge others or that we already know both what the other person will say and what it is worth. This is a spin-off from discussions on another thread "What is Buddhist Enlightenment?". I dont know why these particular words are so effective for me. The way we treat others can be deeply ingrained. I was told that our relationship was undergoing normal developmental changes. This is wrong speech "One tries to abandon wrong speech & to enter into right speech: This is one's right effort. He speaks the truth, holds to the truth, is firm, reliable, no deceiver of the world. This, too, is part of his virtue. , yet samma-vaca is a powerful practice, and one that we can do anywhere, anytime, and with anyone. Time after time, I would approach him in what I thought was an open and friendly way, employ what I thought was Right Speech, and find myself face-to-face with a being I barely recognized. Speech is the ability to form and utter words, an ability unique to human beings. ", AN V (From The Patimokkha, anamoli Thera, trans.). Not surprisingly, for the different negative statements, Emilio reported, Im closed up inside and dont want to hear it, My muscles are tense, My feelings are hurt, My chest is tight and rigid, I make myself hard inside, I want to interrupt and tell you to shut up, My reply feels stuck in my throat, and My skin feels hot., In response to positive statements, Emilio noticed, Flickers of happiness rise up in my body, Theres a lot more life inside, I feel space inside, like a big gate swinging open, My muscles are soft and relaxed, My body feels energetic, like it wants to suddenly move, and Theres joy in my mind and heart.. Please try again. Family meetings, a talking stone, and the commitment not to interrupt one another facilitated our communication. If we are habitually not responsive to people and situations, we cannot be sincere practitioners of samma-vaca. Knowing how to listen and talk skillfully often requires practicing new behaviors that take time to learn. The idea of the Eightfold Path appears in what is regarded as the first sermon of the founder of Buddhism, Siddhartha Gautama, known as the Buddha, which he delivered after his enlightenment. Retrieved from https://www.learnreligions.com/right-speech-450072. Fill any spaces of silence between you with love. In a calm moment, he agreed to talk with me about our communication problems. Did I hurt Ws feelings and make it harder for him to speak with me? By continuing, you agree to Tricycles Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. How could you understand this doctrine and discipline? Tara Brach Over the course of a few weeks, we discussed a number of preliminaries that could help set the stage for more skillful interactions. Like the eight branches to one trunk or eight tributaries flowing into one river, each is essential to the elimination of suffering. It is also the path that releases us from future rebirths into realms of suffering. He seemed a bit puzzled, so we talked about what kinds of things most people do not want to hear. Mundane Right View simply entails accepting the law of kamma, a fundamental concept in both Hinduism and many forms of Buddhism. Buddha knew the tremendous power of words. Clearly, we had to address this underlying problem. We talked about how reactive thoughts, emotions, and sensations happen to everyone. Samma-vaca [right speech] is a practice that will tend to make a person more grounded, generous, humble, attentive, observant, presentand at the same time, more reflective, imaginative, far-sighted, and open to other people and possibilities. (2023, April 5). For example, I consciously feel my breathing, attempt to relax tightness in my body, and try not to formulate my response while the other person is speaking. Yet I began to notice that once the initial rush of emotional expression subsided, many group participants still raged at others for presumed slights, projected ill will, and other dissatisfactions. We need to lie, exaggerate, embellish, use harsh and aggressive speech, engage in useless banter, and speak at inappropriate times, in order to experience how using speech in these ways creates tension in the body, agitation in the mind, and remorse in the heart. Is it an unskillful verbal act, with painful consequences, painful results?' For instance, earlier, when I was unhappy, I assumed either that I was doing something wrong or that something outside of me was wrong. Jack Kornfield Systems theory explores how parts of a system (individuals, spouses, various species) interact to organize the whole system (a family, a couple, an ecosystem). He then wrote: I think its going to rain. Dads planting grass in the backyard. Claudia is sweeping the kitchen floor. Last nights rain flooded the trail by the river.. A communication coach shares guidance on cultivating skillful communication habits, informed by systems theory and Buddhist principles of right speech. We repeatedly observe that different kinds of speech create different kinds of results. Jack Kornfield Since then, I have discovered other approaches to effective and kind communication through adapting the teachings of Buddhism and systems theory. Right Speech is the third of the eight path factors in the Noble Eightfold Path, and belongs to the virtue division of the path. Likewise, skillful talking encourages skillful listening. If he does know, he says, 'I know.' When he has been called to a town meeting, a group meeting, a gathering of his relatives, his guild, or of the royalty, if he is asked as a witness, 'Come & tell, good man, what you know': If he doesn't know, he says, 'I don't know.' With mindfulness, we see that the heart is the ground from which our speech grows. Before we go to sleep, we can reflect on our conversations, evaluate in detail whether we succeeded or not, and then decide what we need to do to improve. [5] "Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious? Within seconds, I would be left staring at my sons back as he stormed out of the room, arms flailing in the air and a stream of incomprehensible sounds pouring forth from his mouth. Tricycle is a nonprofit that depends on reader support. To the extent that many silences are in fact preparations for speech, words exist in a continuum from intuition, to thought, to utterancewhich means that the thoughtful practitioner of samma-vaca. Reflecting on Right Speech is a necessary component of the Buddhist spiritual path, but also provides useful guidelines for anyone who is aware of the power of speech to help or harm ourselves and others. Of these limbs, none seem plainer than right speech or. Thank you for subscribing to Tricycle! On the other hand, if the expression of differences becomes too extreme (as witnessed in encounter groups), chaos may ensue. When someone is being challenged to respond immediately to something uncomfortable and challenging, it is scarcely surprising that the person beomes very defensive and agitated very quickly. Eagerly looking for ways to infuse my work with a Buddhist perspective, I examined teachings on conditioning, causality, mindful discernment, and interdependence. Did I hurt Ws feelings and make it harder for him to speak with me? By contrast, people raised in families with more skillful communication habits usually have more viable options for handling difficult conversations. The means to this end is found in the Eightfold Path, which is constituted by right views, right aspirations, right speech, right conduct, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right meditational attainment. Thank you for subscribing to Tricycle! By inviting participants to speak so freely, group leaders were unwittingly encouraging them to reinforce habitual patterns rather than helping them cultivate expression that encourages equanimity. In his book "Returning to Silence," Katagiri Roshi said, "Kind speech is not the usual sense of kindness. We agreed I needed to change my strategy so that he might remain open to what I wanted to say. Ledi . Seemingly opposite situations were cited as causing the same outcome. We can become more skillful about what to say and what not to say to promote harmony. Would you like to sign up for our other mailing lists? Listen with your body, your heart, your eyes, your energy, your total presence. "While you are performing a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I am doing is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Before we go to sleep, we can reflect on our conversations, evaluate in detail whether we succeeded or not, and then decide what we need to do to improve. To better illustrate this point, we invented a listening game. I gave Emilio four blank index cards, and asked him to write four sentences that he would be happy to hear me say to him. I approach Emilio with a friendly heart and do my best with Right Speech, but within seconds, or maybe a few minutes, the conversation abruptly ends. Certainly, we cannot banish ugly words from our lives, but we can choose to not soak in them. Development by Code Rodeo. I proposed that when we discussed a difficult topic, he could decide whether to respond immediately to the issue raised, or think it over and respond in a few hours or a few days. "One should speak only pleasant words, words which are acceptable (to others). Communication is something that happens between people. There is no shortcut; we learn from paying attention to every interaction and reflecting afterwards on what went right or wrong. [5] "Are the Patimokkhas [rules of conduct for monks and nuns] in full thoroughly learned by heart, well-analyzed with thorough knowledge of their meanings, clearly divided sutta by sutta and known in minute detail by me? But if on reflection you know that it is not you may continue with it. There is a Tibetan prayer that says, May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. We have each offered apologies, requested forgiveness, pardoned transgressions, and declared our love and caring. However, as my children grew, both speaking and listening became increasingly challenging, especially when we attempted to address unskillful behaviors or conflicting points of view. He speaks in season, speaks what is factual, what is in accordance with the goal, the Dhamma, & the Vinaya. . Pema Chdrn The intention of renunciation, which counters the intention of desire. Right Speech From the Buddhist Eightfold Path. Learn Religions, Apr. [1] "Am I one who practices purity in bodily action, flawless and untainted? Sadly, knowing about right speech is different from being able to implement it. "Abandoning abusive speech, he abstains from abusive speech. What should be said first you said last. Right speech, explained in negative terms, means avoiding four types of harmful speech: lies (words spoken with the intent of misrepresenting the truth); divisive speech (spoken with the intent of creating rifts between people); harsh speech (spoken with the intent of hurting another person's feelings); and idle chatter (spoken with no purposefu. The Wisdom of Listening by Mark Brady Mindful listening can nurture a safe place for differences to arise and for people to mutually learn what they can and then move on. This was easy. Indeed, samma-vaca is a mindfulness practice that gives instant feedback, because it occurs in the moment, with other people. I came to see that everyone at times will find life unsatisfactory, so feeling unhappy no longer seemed as personal. Thanks for guiding me through a lot of things. It is a richly rewarding practice for a thoughtful person and a salutary discipline for a less thoughtful person, because it encompasses so many other virtues. Emilios behavior was so reactive and extreme, I felt like I was being attacked. When he finished, I gave him four more index cards, and asked him to write four things he would not want me to say to him. In her book The Zen of Listening, Rebecca Sharif writes, Listening is one of our greatest personal natural resources, yet it is by far one of our most undeveloped abilities.. By undertaking this practice, we commit to greater awareness of our body, mind, and emotions. When my children Emilio and Claudia were little, we successfully used communication tools that I had encountered doing group work and conflict resolution with adults. According to the Perfection of Wisdom Sutras, right speech is defined as avoiding lies, slander, harsh words, and idle gossip. Ultimately, stirring up acrimony is planting karmic seeds that will hurt the cause we think we're fighting for. Remembering the fact of impermanence adds perspective. Impurity, according to the Buddha, can come about in four ways. Before, she would have characterized Richard as a disrespectful personaccusing him and provoking his defensiveness. Copyright 2023. From these heart states Right Speech naturally arises. But it is an essential part of the Buddhist path. Im forgetting that life is short. Our words should not create hatred, misunderstanding, or suffering. [1] "Do I speak at the right time, or not? Underlying all of these queries is the larger question about motivation: why did I speak, and what in me needed to say this? Please check your email to confirm your subscription. Learning to use speech verbally or in writing in a skilled way leads one to less suffering. On the other hand, some research suggests that when someone is angry and delivers a nasty messagename-calling, putdowns, etc.this can undo the goodwill that had been generated by approximately twenty previous acts of kindness. Subscribe now to read this article and get immediate access to everything else. In the Pali Discourses, the Buddhas gift is twofold: a vision and a practice. It is often viewed in the context of the foundational . (Anguttara-Nikaya, X. But violent words, thoughts, and actions arise together and support each other. Right Speech Can Cultivate Beneficial Karma. I first realized the slipperiness of causal interpretations when I taught undergraduate family studies courses at the University of Minnesota. It's something that you can practice every time you speak. For without the capacity to listen deeply, all the Right Speech in the world was of little use. If you would like to speak with a member of our caring staff, please feel free to visit http://www.medicalsolutionsforwomen.com. Finally, the application of systems theory to the practice of communication encourages a dynamic balance between stability and change. Cultivating right speech is similar to cultivating helpful mind-states. Were sorry, there was an error. People who grew up in families that openly expressed contempt and blame often find those same patterns of speech erupting from their mouths when theyre upset. Flare-ups still occur, and they are upsetting, but they are less upsetting and less personal than they used to be, and we recover from them more quickly and more easily. Our mistakes are a vital part of our learning. [6] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, and endearing & agreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. I started to read up on right view, right resolve, and right speech (again). Joseph Goldstein, With Stephen Batchelor, Sharon Salzberg, Andrew Olendzki, and more. Unfortunately, the cleanup work needed to counter a single nasty message as it echoes throughout the system can be daunting. Which ten? Using mindful discernment to consider the influence of other causes and conditions can lead to greater awareness, more options for change, and the insight that there may be some actions we ourselves can take to improve the situation. The Dalai Lama As a nonprofit, we depend on readers like you to keep Buddhist teachings and practices widely available. I told Emilio that if we could continue to improve our communication, it would not only benefit our relationship, but would likely serve each of us in all present and future relationships as well. If he has seen, he says, 'I have seen.' You're not. [The Buddha speaks to his son, Rahula:] "Whenever you want to perform a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I want to perform would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? It is the conscious application of our reflective intelligence that makes this a practice and not just the spontaneous play of natural gifts. It also plays very subtly with the power dynamics. As we are increasingly able to bring mindfulness to ordinary human interaction, we find that listening means attending to our physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions, as well as to the voice, facial expressions, gestures, pauses, underlying meanings, and rich nuances that accompany the spoken words of others. Thanks for sharing. A communication style infused with Buddhist principles and systems theory can encourage compassionate right speech, resulting in enhanced harmony and stability. That is the aim of the Buddhist way of life: in it wisdom and compassion are inseparably linked together, as we shall see later. The Buddha's Words on Right Speech If one were to ask a reasonably well-informed Buddhist, monastic or lay, what the Buddha's teachings on Right Speech are, one would likely be told that they require one to speak the truth. Bodhi, Bhikkhu. As a nonprofit, we depend on readers like you to keep Buddhist teachings and practices widely available. It became equally difficult for me to tolerate his unwillingness to listen. It was the responsibility of the recipient to offer a response within 24 hours. 176) -Mundane and Supermundane Speech. Each part of a system is contingent upon all other parts, with things changing in ways we cant necessarily predict or control, and at the same time, everything in a system is dynamically in balance with everything else. As a nonprofit, we depend on readers like you to keep Buddhist teachings and practices widely available. This proved more challenging, and I offered examples of the kinds of things that might be neutral. Subscribe now to read this article and get immediate access to everything else. All rights reserved.Design by Point Five. It is the wholehearted expression of our Buddhist practice. In fact in Buddhism we find that a very important place is given to speech or the principle of speech or the principle of communication generally. It will be obvious that our silences are also included in this, because all silence expresses something, and some silences are more eloquent than words. We forget that many causes and conditions contribute to how we feel. "Whereas some brahmans and contemplatives, living off food given in faith, are addicted to debates such as these 'You understand this doctrine and discipline? by: Stephen Batchelor, Christina Feldman, John Peacock, Akincano Weber, A weekly update on everything you need to know on tricycle.org, Buddhist teachings to your inbox every Thursday, Course announcements, offers, and events from our partners, Weekly updates and guided meditations from a Buddhist teacher throughout the month of March, Interview with Marshall Rosenberg: The Traveling Peacemaker, A Day in the Dharma with Reverend Robert Yamada, founder of the Animal Liberation Temple in Martinez, California, Suella Braverman Is the UKs Buddhist Home Secretary and a Right-Wing Culture Warrior, Sexuality, Desire, and the Dharma of Relationships. Tricycle. The eight limbs of the path are not eight steps to be taken consecutively, but are to be worked on simultaneously. For instance, when people hear a different point of view, they often automatically agree, disagree, judge, or evaluate. He speaks words worth treasuring, seasonable, reasonable, circumscribed, connected with the goal. (This style of communication, not surprisingly, correlates with shorter marriages.) We can have a large enough vocabulary and wide experience of life to understand the words that are spoken to us, but how do we intuit the real intentions behind the wordssuch as whether the speaker is friendly or unfriendly toward uslet alone understand why the intentions are what they are? . Mindfulness makes it possible to recognize what we are about to say before we say it, and thus offers us the freedom to choose when to speak, what to say, and how to say it. Why is that? [2] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them. Right Speech, also called Wise Speech or Virtuous Speech, gives rise to peace and happiness in oneself and others. I'm being consistent. Stephen Batchelor [This story was first published in 2017.]. This, too, is part of his virtue. speech that is welcomed. The practice of Right Speech requires that we attend to karma, or the law of cause and effect. We can have a large enough vocabulary and wide experience of life to understand the words that are spoken to us, but how do we intuit the real intentions behind the wordssuch as whether the speaker is friendly or unfriendly toward uslet alone understand why the intentions are what they are? In the Pali Discourses, the Buddhas gift is twofold: a vision and a practice. Right Speech has been, for me, the most difficult of the Five Precepts, and the trickiest aspect of the Noble Eightfold Path. He liked this suggestion. It is spoken in truth. "And what other five conditions must be established in himself? When you live in a world of acrimonious speech, practice of Right Speech requires Right Effort and sometimes even courage.
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